Born into European Aristocracy, my formative years were spent playing in the grounds of my parents palace. Unfortunately the local peasants got a bit upity and burnt my beautiful home to the ground. As refugees we came to England and managed to buy a small piece of land to build a new home on...I believe its called Essex.

Having left school with no qualifications, I became a Stunt-Dick in the Porn industry. The pay was OK but the real job satisfaction came from helping the needy.

After many years of rewarding work I have retired to enjoy my hobbies of bog-snorkelling and tiger wrestling.

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